Unfortunately, there is a bright side

I am an optimist, no stop laughing it is true. No matter what the situation is I can find the brightside. So today I am going to take some unfortunate situations and find a bright spot. I feel it is my civil duty to ya'll to brighten up some of the sports stupidity. Without further ado, let the optimising begin!

Being Larry Johnson: Unfortunately; Kansas City Chiefs running back used his twitter account this weekend to criticize his rookie head coach. Which really isn't a big deal. But he used a homosexual slur when responding to a fan's jab at his character. Now the oft boneheaded Johnson has been suspended indefinitely by the team. Brightside; Your team sucks anyway, and Larry was just adding to the problem. He wasn't producing and he was distraction. With Johnson sidelined , the Cheifs can focus on their awful defense and horrible quarterback. Analysis; Larry Johnson is an idiot.

Washington Redskin's plight: Unfortunately; The Washington Redskins suck royally, and now they are trying hard to alienate their very loyal fanbase. The organization has banned all signs from the stadium, and refuse to allow sports stations nationally and locally from interviewing tailgating fans in the stadium parking lot. After they stripped play calling from coach Jim Zorn and lost Chris Cooley, their leading receiver, possibly for the season at tight end their offense doesn't appear to be better. Brightside; Ok, there is no brightside for the Redskins. But the Washington Wizards played last night and starting guard Gilbert Arenas didn't get hurt. That in itself is an accomplishment. Analysis; Until owner Dan Snyder sells the Redskins, they will continue to challenge our government for the title of most dysfunctional organization in Washington.

Jamarcus Russell's Fault: Unfortunately; Jamarcus is worse at leading than he is at playing quarterback in the NFL. Sure he can throw the ball a mile but he can't hit a receiver. He takes no responsibility for the team's misfortunes and is beginning to look very Ryan Leaf like. Brightside; If Russell keeps playing like he is the Raiders will have the opportunity to draft quarterback early in the first round. Jake Locker, Sam Bradford, and Jimmy Claussen are all possibilities. Analysis; Oakland should draft a quarterback, but about 20 pounds on Russell and move him to offensive guard. Then he can have a long career protecting your new franchise quarterback.

Damn Yankees: Unfortunately; The Yankees, whom I loathe, are in the World Series. Brightside; A-Rod, who is batting .500 before tonight and .471 with runners in scoring position, is still A-Rod and could choke at any minute. Analysis; "Hi, my name is A-Rod. I was under so much pressure making 20 million dollars a year that I had to use steroids. After admitting using performance enhancers, I am now playing lights out in the playoffs and hoping that no one will make any connections."

Dez Bryant Lies: Unfortunately; Talented Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Bryant has been suspended for the year. He lied to the NCAA eligibility committee about a meeting he had with Deion Sanders. It is reported that he will more than likely forgo his senior season and enter the NFL draft bringing an unsatisfying end to a sensational college career. Brightside; It has not been proven that Bryant broke any rules. He was suspended for not being honest. He lied because he wasn't sure if he broke a rule. This is good for him in two ways. The first is that he didn't break a rule that NFL views as a nuisance anyway. There is no doubt that the NCAA eligibility rules need, and are getting, some attention. Secondly, NFL analyst say that it will not hurt his draft status. Bryant has stayed out of trouble in college and the analyst think this might be a lapse in judgement not a character flaw. Analysis; The NCAA is reevaluating it's eligibility rules. I am no fan of Deion Sanders, but I would hope he was trying to mentor and guide the young receiver, and not recruit him for an agent. Bryant should've told the truth and Sanders should've known better.

Well there you go a little fun. I am watching Cliff Lee and the Phillies dominate the Yankees. Hopefully the Phils can get through the ninth without incident. (I know I said I wouldn't watch but that was me succumbing again to my trademark hyperbole.) Live like no one is watching and look on the brightside!