Guest Writer

This is a blog written by my brother.  He as you know a sports genius.  I hope you all read it with the same respect that you give me.  Send all questions and comments to me and i will relay them to the moron who wrote this.  And tonight we have teh full indepth report of the "fan poll."

Maryland is (the) Shit

By John

GO TERPS!

Hi y'all.

Okay now that we have that dumb shit out of the way I can go back to being a douchebag.  I hate football fans.  Well mostly i hate everyone, but we will focus on football fans today.  I called my brother this morning so he could explain to me why the hell certain teams were ranked where they are in the rankings. (I do this kind of thing when logic fails me and I feel the need for sharp pains in my head.)  After we go through the obligatory "What are you doing?" "watching Sportscenter in my underwear. What are you doing?" Reorganizing my asian porn" conversation we get to the meat of the problem: Football fans are idiots.

I looked at the ESPNU Fan poll and they have Maryland (14) ranked above Texas(17).  What are you high?  There is something wrong in this nation (quite obvious in any case) when you vote the Terps (GO TERPS!) above the Longhorns.  If you think in any version of reality that the Terps (FEAR THE TURTLE!) have a snowball's chance in hell against a team like Texas, you need to put the crack pipe down.  I love my team but I have seen them pick their defense from the opposing teams fans.  (At least it seemed so.)  Case in point:  the Cal game.  It was 21 to 6 at the half.  Cal scored 21 points in the fourth quarter.  Im pretty sure that the Terps defense got to watch that from home because they weren't on the field to stop Cal.  At this time I'm not even sure they belong in the top 25.  If they win their next two games I think they should be considered for a top 25 spot.  Their defense needs to start coming to games though.

Of course it could just be taht more Maryland fans are voting than UT fans.  If thats the case thats just pathetic.  I hate UT fans.  They are the most rabid blathering idiots I have ever met (GO TERPS!).  But if you aren't voting for your team and they are as they are this year ( and  possibly next year) you're a dipshit.  Get off your ass, get out of your trendy hipster Austin coffee house and bar and get on the internet and vote, hell you don't even have to leave the place.  They probably have wifi.  Prove your a fan and not that you just want to hold clever "cough" bullshit! "cough" signs on ESPN Gameday.

On the specific fans I hate subject:  Fuck USC! If you are a fan of USC fine, get on the short bus with the rest of the retards and don't forget your helmet.  I don't want to hear how good you THINK your team is this year.  Your team shouldn't even be in the top ten.  The PAC 10 blows.  Its the weakest conference in BCS play and you get all proud when you whoop the shit out of of the slow kids at Washington State and then barely win at Arizona.  If you want to be considered a good team, don't lose.  Im not saying don't lose at Oregon State, Im saying don't lose.  I counted eight teams in the top 25 that don't have a loss.  I'm not jaded enough to say they are all better than you, but the fact remains, come Saturday evening those teams did their job:  WIN.  So fine be a fan of USC, but gimme a break with this our team is number one shit.  (And since I haven'r said it this paragraph GO TERPS!)

In closing: be a fan, love your team.  But recognize their faults.  My bother is a Michigan and Cubs fan.  He rides the shortest bus of all, but he won't even argue that those teams are anywhere near the top of the pile this year.  Now I have to get back to my regularly scheduled activities of searching for Asian bondage porn and listening to Like a Virgen on repeat.  I return you to your regularly scheduled meandering of an alcohol soaked mind.

GO Terps!

John

John is Nate's brotherand lives in Texas, where they play football for real.  He enjoys slow dancing, candles, long walks on the beach tattooed women and asians.  He also has a thing for amphibians which hopefull explains his love for the Florida Gators and the Maryland Terrapins and not his love for rare frog skin condoms.